Thursday, February 26, 2009

POP POP POP

It just gets worse ....My back pain just kept getting more and more painful.. .Then early Wednesday morning I just couldn't walk, Couldn't straighten up and pain spasms had me yelling out and cursing big time........



So That was it - Wednesday afternoon McD had me booked in to a Chiropractor...Off I hobble. .. Hang around while they show a intro to chiropractics on the TV .... In I go to the Drs office ..A few twists and "what happens when you do this" and "what happens when you do that " and its off to another room and I'm being told to put on some supplied shorts or gown..... MADE FOR SKINNY UNDER DEVELOPED HOBBITS !!!!!



The sleeves of the gown wouldn't go beyond my biceps ... Shorts barely above my thighs ...



What to do ......



Don the shorts



So there I am naked apart from an overly tight pair of shorts scrunching everything into the density of a black hole and everything else bulging out like a balloon animal....a very large balloon animal ...



"All dressed up and nowhere to go eh " she remarks as she enters the room ....



"@##$@#@#$ !!!!!" says me under my breath ....After all you don't want to upset someone about to snap your back in half ....



After a very painful x-ray session. "stand here" ... "Arms here".... "Push your hip into the wall" .....



"you're just doing this for the fun of it aren't you!!"



"Now not at all.."



Well - finally told to get dressed... Such a relief to extricate my self from the 'budgie smugglers' as tight shorts are referred to over here .....



But that was it !!!



No treatment that day - told to come back tomorrow !!!!



Another night ...Another morning of no movement ..can't straighten up and when I do and try to walk the worst, Absolute worst of pain ........



McD trying to help me to the toilet... But I'm 6 foot and 300lbs and she's 4 foot 11 and 3/4 s and I just can't put my weight on her or we'll both have wrecked backs .....



Next day next session...1/2hr wait in a chair watching Chiropractor II 'spinal manipulation' ...Can't walk to the office but have too...Face contorted in pain....



"Your neck is out of alignment and into stage 2 degeneration at the base here.... Your spine is curved as it should be but is out of alignment laterally here ." (showing me all of this in the x-rays) .... "Your lower back has two vertebrae that have compressed here ... probably pushing on the nerve..."



"Oh it's pushing all right" I mumble ..



"And it looks like you have a leg that's shorter than the other !!..." She does a few lines on the x-ray and then measures ..."9mm shorter in fact" she tells me .........



"You what !!!!"



So she puts me on a bench that starts off vertical then lowers you down to the horizontal ...



"I won't do anything sneaky" she informs me "but I'm going to find the right spots and push down..Now relax ..."



Oh that's easy to do!!!!.....



"We have just two rules at this point" She tells me ...."No Screaming and you are not allowed to hit me !!!"



"POP !!!!" she finds the spot and then pushes down hard ...



"AAHee hhha ha" and rule #1 is broken already ...McD can hear me in the reception area .....



I'm still crying when she locates another spot between my shoulder blades ..



"now just relax" ..



"!!!!! "



"ugh" as she pushes down ..



Then "POP POP POP" .... as she drives home even harder a 2nd time ...



"AAHee hhha ha" Sod rule #1



Now contemplating breaking rule #2



"No I'm not a professional wrestler" she quips in what must be Chiropractor humour.. "would like to learn though" ..



"Not on me sunshine"



After a bit of a rub along my spine and a bit more pushing I'm set vertical again and told to walk on the spot ...



AND I CAN !!!!!!



But then the chair....



"let me take control of your neck ... "



"oh god you're not going to snap my neck ..Please"



"Just close your mouth a little please"



"POP POP POP" she snaps my neck ...



"AAHee hhha ha"



"Oh dear God NO !!"



"It's all right - now can you just try and drop your shoulder "



"POP POP POP" she snaps my neck the other way ...



"AAHee hhha ha"



"That's it - we're done for this session. You're not dizzy are you?? "



"Why no I'm not and thankyou for your concern" ..I mumble



But



Oh the freedom in my shoulders !!!!... and I can walk out of the office without wincing



And I can walk albeit a little stiffly for the rest of the evening ...



But this morning I'm back to near stage one and can't walk without spasms and pain...



And now tonight I have another session ......





:O\

4 comments:

McDinzie said...

Its been a long week.....I've never seen you go to a "doctor" so willingly....yep thats how much pain you must have been in

Ann said...

Hope the Bone doc will work for you. Mean while get a wheat heat bag, Does wonders.

I went to my Chinese Doctor for a Chinese Massage. Too much blogging has made my 30 year old chronic sore neck and sore back come back even in summer. Unfortunately for me, the chiropractor can't help, because my bones slip in and out. No ACC for me either.

You claiming ACC for carrying too heavy bags of compost?

Kay said...

Sorry about your back. Hope you're getting some relief ... no gardening on steep inclines this weekend now you hear? (I guess tickling flowers is allowed if it's on the flat!)

keewee said...

glad to hear the chiropractor is helping.